The Mystery of the Sabado Gigante Lion
I should begin by telling you that my Spanish is more than a little rusty. Shameful, yes. As a native Californian, Spanish should come easily to me. Sadly, I find myself struggling with English as it is.
On Saturday nights, on the Spanish-language TV network UNIVISION, there is a variety show that is approximately nine hours long. Or maybe it just seems that way. It's called "Sabado Gigante," or "Big Saturday." It features the estimable Don Francisco as host, and many barely clad Latina chiquitas prancing about.
As a straight woman, my interest is not piqued by the half-nekkid girlie girls cavorting about the studio (of course, your mileage may vary).
My fascination with the show lies with the talent show that occurs during the second hour of the program, where hapless audience members are forced to sing in an attempt to win $1000.
During this segment, Don Francisco wears numerous "funny" hats, a guy dressed like a Mexican wrestler acts as judge and jury, and the Sabado Gigante Lion metes out punishment, if called for -- and it always is.
The Lion lives in a tacky set which purports to be his cavern. Blue metallic streamers hide the lion behind the set. A sign proclaims that this is the "Cuidado Con El Leon."
The Mexican Wrestler Guy has a toy trumpet fastened by a ribbon around his neck. If the putative singer is faltering, Mexican Wrestler Guy sounds his trumpet, which summons the Sabado Gigante Lion from his lair to bear away the talentless peasant.
Sometimes the Lion toys with his victims. He'll cha-cha with them before he pounces. Or he'll sympathetically lay his stuffed feline head on their shoulders.
But, invariably, the fate of his victims is the same. The Lion is here -- you must go. The Lion will drag you to oblivion. Thanks for playing.
Lately, I've been thinking about that Lion. I think that the Lion comes for all of us eventually.
Having a good life? Things going swell? Oops -- here comes the Lion! Gotcha!
Mind you, the Lion doesn't always signify death. Sometimes it's loss (is that a pink slip, or the Lion?) or just change (Youth? The Lion claimed it some time ago! Didn't you notice?).
Sometimes the Lion takes away burdens you didn't need to carry anyway. Grudges, noisy neighbors, dreadful sitcoms. The Lion can be a blessing.
But make no mistake. Someday the Lion will come for you -- just as he will come for me.
I just hope for a quick cha-cha before I go.